The church, storms and joyful expansion

When I was five years old, I was church-famous.

Every Sunday I'd walk straight past the pews, choosing instead to perch myself on the steps leading to the altar. When I prayed, I'd close my eyes and press my palms together super tightly (just so God knew I was serious).

I'd joyfully sing my little heart out in praise of the Almighty, feeling like I was an important part of the show.

Ok, ok, I felt like I was the star of the show and the priest was my co-star (sorry Jesus).

The parishioners adored me and always told me how much they loved my (they said singing, but I heard) performance.

My ideas have changed a LOT since then. I'm no longer religious, but my desire to connect to the divine/infinite/whatever-you-call-it has only grown stronger over time.

I am, for example, deeply committed to not fighting the universe. To living from a place of empowered allowing. To flow with what is.

And yet…

Last week I found myself trying to force the universe into a different configuration. One where the hospital stopped ignoring my phone calls and finally gave us the crucial results of my dad's brain tumour biopsy.

I pleaded with the hospital admin person...

She said she understood and promised to pass on my message. Which is exactly what the last person I'd spoken to said.

Sometimes the benevolent Universe gracefully gifts us the perfect storm. Not to drown us, or to ‘test us’ - although it can definitely feel that way.

These storms feel like a shit-show. They're unfun and unglamorous and to put it plainly, they fucking SUCK.

But they can have the effect of building the exact muscles we want to build to move us forward to what we want for ourselves. Expansion.

When such storms decide to trample our shores, it’s not unspiritual to be pissed off.

It’s not unevolved to feel angry. Or terrified. Or despairing.

In fact, sometimes, that’s the work. Feeling the shitty feelings. Being there for ourselves in profound ways. Loving ourselves no matter what.

In this week’s podcast episode I talk you through what I realised as I navigated the tension between my frustration at not getting the biopsy results and my desire to not fight the universe.

I genuinely believe that this episode clears up common misconceptions that many of us have around the practical aspect of living spiritually.

When you clear them up, you reclaim the flow, ease and joy that the misunderstandings prevent you from having.

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